The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies
Theirs was a love that nature never intended. Bigger than Texas. Hotter than Hades. Weirder than…a lot of other things you might have read about up until now.
Self-made zillionaire Rock Fangsworthy is your typical Texas cowboy…well, sort of. Typical in that the only thing this lethally sexy lady-charmer with the hair trigger temper loves more than his horse is his ranch, The Double Fang. Or maybe his boots. Less typical in the fact he's also a four hundred year old vampire with a shocking secret—he can't stand the sight of blood.
Buffi Van Pelt is just your average girl-next-door winery owner…or is she? The spunky single mom to twin boys also happens to be a winsome werewolf with secrets and troubles of her own. The winery that the gutsy good-girl recently inherited from her grandmother is on the verge of ruin. If Buffi can't find a use for the mysteriously tainted wine before time and her pantry's limited supply of red meat runs out, she and her pups will be left homeless, destitute and very, very hungry. Worse yet, her baby-daddy is the same hunky, bad-boy vampire rancher who's out to steal The Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck from under her paws.
Once upon a time their passion flamed hotter'n a summer's night in Dallas with three Cheerleaders and a side of habanero sauce. Tonight, love's lightning might just strike them twice…but only if the wine don't kill them first.
The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies by Nine Naughty Novelists is an absolute joy to read. This book was written by nine different authors (Juniper Bell, Meg Benjamin, Kate Davies, PG Forte, Kinsey W. Holley, Kelly Jamieson, Skylar Kade, Erin Nicholas & Sydney Somers) each taking a chapter or two and adding their own brand of style and humor to the story. Don’t get me wrong, if this book was an attempt at a serious story it would be epically bad. By the same token, since it is a parody it’s a masterpiece in cheesiness, stereotypes and pun worthy lines.
Rock Fangsworthy is a self made millionaire. He’s not the typical Texan, though. He’s a vampire with a blood phobia. He has a couple hundred year old grudge against the Van Pelts and he’s never forgotten it. The Van Pelts not only stole his land, but they turned it into a winery, for the love of Texas. Now, the oldest Van Pelt is dead and he’s going to make the new owner and offer they can’t refuse. He’ll finally have his land back and settle the score.
“If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble.”
Buffi Van Pelt is not the typical girl next door. She’s a single mom to twin boys and, oh yeah, she’s a werewolf. She’s, also the new owner of The Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck that she inherited from her grandmother. The winery is in trouble, but Buffi is determined to turn it all around. She quickly finds that she has more problems than a failing winery. Her summer love, Rock Fangsworthy, is back and wanting her land and business. She can’t let him find out that she is keeping a very big secret from him after all this time.
“He was a moth to her flame, a marshmallow to her campfire, a redneck to her bottle rocket…”
This book is laugh out loud funny in some parts and smack your head groan worthy in others. I really, really enjoyed the clueless Rock and how he struggled figuring out the most obvious things. I found myself uttering really? constantly throughout the book. God love him, I’m not sure how he has made it 400 years. The bad guys were even more clueless, but in such a good way.
It was fun to read in each chapter the different writing style of each author. You’ll love this book as long as you don’t take it seriously.
2 out of 5